Next time you see on of those little Japanese sports cars on the road, check out the driver. Nine out of ten are driven by very hot, red-necky or white-trashy chicks. Seriously, take a look.
That led me to a more complete generalization of chicks and their cars...
stripper - Japanese sports car or Jeep Wrangler
country chick - pick-up, pre-1990
college chick w/o rich Dad - Jetta
college chick w/rich Dad - BMW convertible
early career chick (college educated) - BMW 3 Series
early career chick (no college) - Honda Accord
Mom - minivan (duh)
Mom w/lots of kids - Suburban
Mom w/breast implants - Escalade
hot Mom w/short husband - Hummer
hot Mom w/standard husband - SUV
divorcee w/o kids - Porsche
divorcee w/kids - expensive SUV
hot older lady with even older husband - Maserati
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Beer fridge
Like most guys, I have a beer fridge in my garage. I always think about buying a keg-erater but for now I just have a fridge. I replenish the fridge when needed but sometimes I face a dilemma when restocking. Do I buy the beer that I love and just have tons of my favorite brew or do I buy a mixed supply. The mixed supply allows guests who may not share my tastes to choose from a selection of beers while the latter forces my tastes on them. Part of me wants to be a good host but part of me wants to have the beer I want whenever I want it.
Assman
I had a friend who used to say, "Melvin, I'm an ass man." This meant that he really liked to check out women's asses and determined their level of appeal by their ass.
Nothing wrong with that at all but it got me thinking, what other kinds of "man" can one be? Leg man, eyes man, hair man, thigh man, tit man, feet man, lips man, laugh man, smile man, height man, stripper man. There's probably more. All of them attributable to some physical feature that men can observe and judge.
Men will observe and judge the desirability of a particular woman without considering their actual ability to have that woman.
Nothing wrong with that at all but it got me thinking, what other kinds of "man" can one be? Leg man, eyes man, hair man, thigh man, tit man, feet man, lips man, laugh man, smile man, height man, stripper man. There's probably more. All of them attributable to some physical feature that men can observe and judge.
Men will observe and judge the desirability of a particular woman without considering their actual ability to have that woman.
Cleavage
God, what a subject. The shit is great.
Cleavage is one of those things that you can just never get enough of. When you think about it, there are only a few things in life that no matter how much you have you could always use some more.
Like pizza and sex, even bad cleavage is still pretty good. The shit is everywhere too. Obviously chicks with big racks have nice cleavage. But even chicks with little bombs can produce some excellent action.
I have been impressed with the kind of cleavage you could fall into as well as the kind that could barely hide a pea. Doesn't matter. I'll even check out cleavage on huge women with outrageous cans (and so will you).
When does cleavage stop being cleavage? I think when nipples appear. At that point the curiousity is over and you just see the cans - which are great no matter what.
Cleavage is one of those things that you can just never get enough of. When you think about it, there are only a few things in life that no matter how much you have you could always use some more.
Like pizza and sex, even bad cleavage is still pretty good. The shit is everywhere too. Obviously chicks with big racks have nice cleavage. But even chicks with little bombs can produce some excellent action.
I have been impressed with the kind of cleavage you could fall into as well as the kind that could barely hide a pea. Doesn't matter. I'll even check out cleavage on huge women with outrageous cans (and so will you).
When does cleavage stop being cleavage? I think when nipples appear. At that point the curiousity is over and you just see the cans - which are great no matter what.
Carpool
I have a friend in a carpool arrangement with another family. He usually handles their family's responsibility while the other family's responsibility is handled by the wife.
As time goes on, the innocent chatter, "How did Zoe do at preschool today?" turns a little suggestive, "Sid (my husband) is on the road, I finally have some time to myself. Wanna come in for a minute?" This goes on for several weeks and progresses very slowly but assuredly. Such as, "these jeans look ok on me?"
Here is the dilemma. Carpool husband and carpool wife do not really run in the same social circles. However, they have overlapping social circles and most of their friends know each other. The suggestion (if not invitation) is there for more intimacy. What does carpool husband do?
As time goes on, the innocent chatter, "How did Zoe do at preschool today?" turns a little suggestive, "Sid (my husband) is on the road, I finally have some time to myself. Wanna come in for a minute?" This goes on for several weeks and progresses very slowly but assuredly. Such as, "these jeans look ok on me?"
Here is the dilemma. Carpool husband and carpool wife do not really run in the same social circles. However, they have overlapping social circles and most of their friends know each other. The suggestion (if not invitation) is there for more intimacy. What does carpool husband do?
Honesty
Here is an honesty test.
Have you ever been in church and had your mind wander to one of the other celebrants? What kind of underwear is she wearing? Wonder what she would look like in a bikini? How does she best like to have sex?
If you have had one of these thoughts or others like them... congratulations you are honest.
Have you ever been in church and had your mind wander to one of the other celebrants? What kind of underwear is she wearing? Wonder what she would look like in a bikini? How does she best like to have sex?
If you have had one of these thoughts or others like them... congratulations you are honest.
Talking in Metaphors
"People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch."
I was speaking with someone today. He is in the process of hiring a sales person. He actually said that he was "looking for someone who could capture the essence of senior management."
I guess this is pretty much what everyone is looking for but what the fuck. It sounded so manufactured. How about, "we are looking for someone who can sell tons of shit while not screwing up our strategy."
We've all worked with corporate types who live meeting to meeting. They walk around with their silly little portfolio and take notes during the most boring meetings possible. Each participant at the meeting forcing themselves to say something just to be heard. "Hey, Bob, why don't we cross-market with the industrials team and own the positioning on plastics as good for the planet? We'll utilize our organic resources to deliver a world-class cock ring."
I was speaking with someone today. He is in the process of hiring a sales person. He actually said that he was "looking for someone who could capture the essence of senior management."
I guess this is pretty much what everyone is looking for but what the fuck. It sounded so manufactured. How about, "we are looking for someone who can sell tons of shit while not screwing up our strategy."
We've all worked with corporate types who live meeting to meeting. They walk around with their silly little portfolio and take notes during the most boring meetings possible. Each participant at the meeting forcing themselves to say something just to be heard. "Hey, Bob, why don't we cross-market with the industrials team and own the positioning on plastics as good for the planet? We'll utilize our organic resources to deliver a world-class cock ring."
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